Refilling Your Cup: Realistic Self-Care for Teachers Running on Empty

You’ve probably heard the saying “you can’t pour from an empty cup”, meaning that self care is far from selfish, and actually necessary to be able to give to others. And yet I am willing to bet that if you are a teacher in the Northern Hemisphere, by mid-October each year, your cup is empty and you are in desperate need of a break to refill it.

Around the middle of the autumn term is one of those points in the school year where workload peaks (think parent meetings, end of term assessments, and the rest…), just as energy and daylight are in rapid decline. The enthusiasm and sunshine that were present at the end of August are dwindling, and teachers, students and parents alike find themselves running on fumes, if not spluttering and grinding to a halt (I know I'm mixing my metaphors but you get the idea!).

During the last week before the half-term break, I heard many comments on this theme from teachers and those working in schools: “I am just dragging myself to the holidays now”, “I feel like I could cry, I’m so tired”, and “I could only keep going because I knew the holiday was round the corner”. And let’s not forget the young people in this equation - tired after seven or so weeks of early mornings and full schedules of school, homework and extra-curricular activities, culminating in end of term evaluations and assessments, just as they are also succumbing to seasonal viruses. The adults caring for them have the unenviable task of prising them out of bed, chivvying them along and dragging them (metaphorically, although not always) to the end of the term.

Perhaps you have been struggling not only with physical exhaustion, but also noticing that your mental and emotional wellbeing is suffering. It's helpful to look out for the warning signs, so you can recognise when you are depleted.

• Maybe you are irritable and snapping at your students, or more likely, with your partner or children when you get home.

• Perhaps you are tearful at the drop of a hat and don’t know why.

• You might feel tired all the time, and don't feel rested even after a full night's sleep.

• Or you’ve just lost enthusiasm for the things you usually enjoy.

Teachers tend to keep going, battling through colds, exhaustion, headaches and other ailments for which people in other careers might take a day or two off sick to rest and recover. Sometimes you pay the price and end up with full-blown flu, infections, or burnout, because you did not, or felt you could not rest when that is what your body desperately needed.

Maybe you feel like you should be able to keep going and hold it all together, and that because you’re struggling, you are failing. Well I am here to tell you that you are not failing, you are just depleted and worn out, which makes total sense given everything you’re holding together. Teaching is one of the caring professions that relentlessly demands you show up daily and perform, whilst overseeing the academic progress, as well as the emotional and social wellbeing of your students. You can only run at full speed for so long before you have to slow down or stop to recover. This is not a weakness. You are a human being in need of space, rest and support.

Here are some realistic self-care ideas for when you’re running on empty. If you can incorporate some of these daily, throughout the term, but especially during the peak times, then you may be better able to pace yourself and avoid collapse or the dreaded school holiday lurgy.

• Cancel something - just one thing. Big or small. Give yourself permission.

• Name what you’re feeling, without trying to fix it: tired, angry, lost, whatever it is, naming it can help. Maybe tell someone about it - saying it out loud can lighten the load.

• Step outside, even for 30 seconds. Fresh air and being in nature (even looking at a tree, a plant or the clouds) is a nervous system reset.

• Touch something soft - a blanket, a jumper, your cat, to feel grounded in your senses and soothe yourself.

• Let yourself do nothing - not as a reward. Just because you’re allowed to stop and rest.

If you find that you are regularly running on empty, without sufficient opportunities to recover, this is not a sustainable way to live. Talking to your GP, a counsellor (me or someone else) or a trusted friend, could be the first step to making a change.

Remember, you don’t need to wait until you’re falling apart. It’s okay to get support even if you’re just worn out. Prevention is always better than cure! This is where counsellors fit in - we can help you before things get more serious.

Today, we’ve explored what it means to feel like you're running on empty as a teacher, when you've been giving your all, 100% for months, but are gradually and quietly unravelling inside.

We looked at signs of emotional depletion in everyday life, and I offered gentle self-care ideas to keep your cup topped up.

Most importantly, I hope you’ve been reminded that feeling this way doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you care deeply and have been carrying too much, for too long, without enough time to rest and recover.

If any of this feels familiar, you’re not alone. When you're ready to reach out, support is here for you.