Out of the Golden Cage: My Journey to a More Aligned Life

Are you approaching or navigating midlife and wondering whether you should change careers? Is there something you have always wanted to do, but are having doubts about how realistic that is for you? Midlife is a common time to reevaluate your career, and consider how you want to spend the next stage of your life. For me, it took being made redundant to finally grab the bull by the horns and leap into the unknown. Looking back, my only regret is not doing it sooner. I’m sharing my story in case it resonates with anyone in a similar position.

Despite assurances from management that the decision wasn’t performance-based ("restructuring," "no role for me," etc…), being let go felt personal. It stung: hurting my pride and knocking my confidence. But I picked myself up, updated my CV, finished my long-neglected LinkedIn profile, and started applying for similar teaching roles. I even went to interviews and was offered jobs, but my heart just wasn’t in it.

That was the clue and the nudge I needed.

For years, I’d stayed in the ‘golden cage’ of a good job and salary. I told myself the usual things: “You’re lucky to have a job,” “You’ve worked hard for this,” “You won’t find anything that pays as well.” But the reality was I felt burnt out, undervalued, and stuck in a career I no longer loved. My matrescence (becoming a mother - do look it up if you're not familiar with the term as it will make things make so much sense!) and motherhood had shifted my values. Teaching full-time left me depleted, with nothing left to give my family at the end of the day. I think there are things schools, and organisations in general, can do to support parents at work (e.g. flexible working and family friendly policies that go beyond paying lip service and box-ticking), but I'll save that for another blog post. For me, I knew I could not go on like that, and I would have to make a change.

Becoming a parent in a foreign country, working full-time, and renovating a whole house while raising young children (admittedly a questionable decision), all pushed me toward self-reflection. On my frustrating, traffic-jam heavy commutes to and from work, I began devouring podcasts about parenting, wellbeing, and mental health. Zoe Blaskey’s Motherkind was (and still is) a favourite - I'd urge all mums to check it out!

Just a month before my redundancy was announced, and with no inkling it was coming, I found myself looking into a Master’s in Counseling at Webster, an American university with a campus in Geneva and counselling program in English that’s recognised by the Swiss Association for Counselling (SGfB) in Switzerland. The idea of circling back to psychology (I’d earned a degree in it over 20 years ago) felt right. And I could use my background in education and lived experience of becoming a parent in a foreign land to help others.

I was hesitant, so I reached out to a counsellor to talk it all through. She helped me reflect on risks I’d taken in the past that had paid off. She also gently highlighted a big block for me: I didn’t want to “let my employer down” by resigning (I'm rolling my eyes at myself as I write this) - classic people-pleasing behaviour, and with hindsight, ridiculous in light of what was around the corner! She encouraged me to give myself permission to do what I wanted and needed.

Even though I felt emboldened to pursue this different path, that golden cage was still hard to leave, and I resolved to give it "just another year". So redundancy, as much of a kick in the teeth as it felt at first, ended up being a gift. Without getting too woo-woo, and I never really believed in this stuff before, it felt like a sign from the universe. Carl Jung called this synchronicity - essentially, a coincidence where events appear to be meaningfully related, or perhaps I made meaning out of them because I wanted to.

Two years down the line, I can say that studying counselling has been enriching and eye-opening. I’ve grown in ways I never expected, both personally and professionally. Now that I’ve completed my internships and graduated, I’m excited to start a new chapter and open my own counselling practice.

This time, I’m doing things on my own terms. I'm making choices to make my work suit me, because how can I possibly show up as the best version of myself for others, if I am burnt out?

While I have loved working with children over the years (their energy is contagious!), I now feel particularly drawn to supporting those who are so influential to this younger generation: their parents and teachers. I have also loved working with adults of all ages, navigating career and relationship challenges, and transitions involving grief and processing their past, walking alongside them as they find meaning in their experiences and feel their way forward.

In many ways, this shift in my career direction reflects what Erik Erikson described as the psychosocial stage of “Generativity vs. Stagnation.” In midlife, we’re either driven to grow by contributing to others and leaving a meaningful legacy, or risk feeling stuck and unfulfilled. For some years, I had felt trapped in the latter state, in a career that was not working for me and my family. But making this career change, training as a counsellor, and now working to support others through their own challenges and life transitions, whilst also giving myself and my family what we need and deserve, that feels like generativity in action.

To be clear, I am well aware that this transition wasn’t without privilege. I had savings and a partner whose income could support us during my two-year Master’s. Our children were old enough to be a little more independent. Otherwise, the change would have been even more challenging. But I believe that whatever our circumstances, there are always small steps we can take toward what lights us up, and we get creative when something matters.

So now, here I am: figuring out how to set up a business in Switzerland, finding a space to work, learning to market myself (whilst trying not to cringe as I make myself visible), and looking for clients. It’s a lot. But I’ve done hard things before. So have countless others. I think connection will be key; building a network and finding community, even if we don’t share the same workplace. While life still feels a little uncertain (but honestly, when doesn't it?!), my vision for the future is growing clearer. I’m ready to take the next step forward into a new chapter of life.

So what can you take from my experience, if you feel like your career is no longer working for you?

• Firstly, changes in life stage and circumstances, including but not limited to, the seismic shift into parenthood, mean our values can shift too. If your career no longer feels like a good fit, you could take some time to consider your 'why' - getting clear about what you value in life can help you to gain clarity about how to move forward.

• Why not talk it through with someone, whether that's a trusted friend or loved one, or someone more objective like a counsellor? It can really help to say what is going round in your head out loud, even if what you start with is "something feels off" or "I feel stuck".

• Consider what is holding you back from making a change - is it a real barrier like a financial need or skills gap, a self-imposed limitation (or societal conditioning?) like not wanting to let your employer down, or lacking in self-belief? Once you have identified those barriers, you can begin to work out how to make small steps to overcome them. This might look like gaining clarity or direction, learning a new skillset, or giving yourself permission to make a change that will fulfill your needs.

So if you’re standing at a crossroads, wondering whether it’s too late to make the leap, pivot or start again, trust that it’s not, and see what one small step you can make toward a life that feels right for you.

If any of this resonates and you’re curious about whether we might be a good fit to work together, I’d love to hear from you.